Struggling
Being 100% honest, I am really struggling right now.
I know IUI wasn't a guarantee or anything, but when all things looked good and the counts were near perfect, it just felt right. It felt like it would happen. And then, absolutely nothing happened.
I was trying not to dwell on it and was trying to just not even think about it. After all, it was just another negative, what's new, right? I've been seeing negatives for 15 months in a row, after all.
And then, and I'm hesitant to even post this because I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but a couple of our friends posted on Facebook in the last couple of weeks that they are expecting, and it just threw me over the top. I am happy for them, I really am. They are great people and they deserve all the happiness in the world. But damnit, so do we!
At this point, it just feels like God hates us, and to be honest, I'm not very fond of him at the moment. I get we are all given struggles to get through, but I'm tired of it. I don't want to try to get through it anymore. I want to have a baby.
I know IUI wasn't a guarantee or anything, but when all things looked good and the counts were near perfect, it just felt right. It felt like it would happen. And then, absolutely nothing happened.
I was trying not to dwell on it and was trying to just not even think about it. After all, it was just another negative, what's new, right? I've been seeing negatives for 15 months in a row, after all.
And then, and I'm hesitant to even post this because I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but a couple of our friends posted on Facebook in the last couple of weeks that they are expecting, and it just threw me over the top. I am happy for them, I really am. They are great people and they deserve all the happiness in the world. But damnit, so do we!
At this point, it just feels like God hates us, and to be honest, I'm not very fond of him at the moment. I get we are all given struggles to get through, but I'm tired of it. I don't want to try to get through it anymore. I want to have a baby.
I'm so sorry you are struggling right now. Know that I am lifting you guys hope and praying that God will bless you with a precious baby soon. Love you!
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