What have I learned?
Although 3 times of doing AI, or IUI, or whatever you want to call it certainly doesn't make me an expert, I definitely feel like I've learned so much through these last 10 months. Probably one of the first things I learned was the "lingo". Yes, infertility has it's own language. For example:
I've learned that I have some pretty amazing friends and family. I can't count the number of amazing friends and family members that have checked in on me and let me know they are thinking about me. I've also learned some friends are still pretty amazing, but just don't know how to talk to me about it, and so they don't. I've learned to let that go, and just know not all people are the same.
I've learned that my husband is even more amazing than I realized before we started this, and he had set the bar pretty high. I couldn't do this if it weren't for him. I think back to the HSG test, where we found out I was {slightly} pregnant. My sweet and perfect husband knew to not celebrate, as it never felt real, even the next morning when I took three pregnancy tests and they all said positive. Dusty held my hand a few weeks later as I went through the most painful experience ever, when I actually had the HSG test and if he hadn't been there, right next to me, holding my hand, I would have quit the test and given up right then. Dusty's had his fair share of unpleasant experiences through this as well...nothing like trying to get me pregnant by taking a brown paper bag to the doctor's office with his part of the process inside. Then, during this IUI cycle, Dusty gave me my trigger shot. I can't thank God enough for that man!
And last, but maybe most important, is, although I may forget it quite a bit of the time, I've learned that I'm stronger than I ever thought I would be. This process has been so difficult, and I know I haven't had it near as bad as other women have, but it has still be hard, and depressing. Somehow, I'm still here, and trying to stay positive. I'm working to build my inner strength to keep going, whatever the next step might be.
Speaking of inner strength, I've been wanted to post this for a while, and felt like this was the perfect post to include this. For Christmas, my sweet sisters-in-law gave me a charm for my Pandora bracelet that represents inner strength. Because of the stupid winter weather, Dusty and I didn't get to go to Iowa for Christmas, so we mailed presents up and they mailed presents down. When I opened the card and the charm, I instantly started crying. It was such a sweet and touching gift from them and I absolutely love it. I've posted a picture of it below. I decided to put it between the two spacers that Dusty gave me when he first gave me the bracelet, and those two charms are the birthstones for my mom & dad. I like the thought of the inner strength being right between my parents' charms, as I feel like they are really the reason I am who I am today.
- 2ww - two week wait between IUI & and the point where I can take a pregnancy test
- AI - artificial insemination
- AF - Aunt Flo - period, menstrual cycle
- BD - baby dance, or sex, this one cracks me up
- Beta - HCG pregnancy test
- BFN - big fat negative
- BFP - big fat positive
- CD - cycle day, which starts the day AF arrives
- CM - cervical mucus
- FET - frozen embryo transfer (IVF term)
- DPO - days past ovulation
- DPT - days post transfer (IVF term)
- IF - infertility
- IUI - intra-uterine insemination
- IVF - in vitro fertilization
- MC - miscarriage
- POAS - pee on a stick - home pregnancy test
- RE - reproductive endocrinologist
- TTC - trying to conceive
- US - ultrasound
I've learned that I have some pretty amazing friends and family. I can't count the number of amazing friends and family members that have checked in on me and let me know they are thinking about me. I've also learned some friends are still pretty amazing, but just don't know how to talk to me about it, and so they don't. I've learned to let that go, and just know not all people are the same.
I've learned that my husband is even more amazing than I realized before we started this, and he had set the bar pretty high. I couldn't do this if it weren't for him. I think back to the HSG test, where we found out I was {slightly} pregnant. My sweet and perfect husband knew to not celebrate, as it never felt real, even the next morning when I took three pregnancy tests and they all said positive. Dusty held my hand a few weeks later as I went through the most painful experience ever, when I actually had the HSG test and if he hadn't been there, right next to me, holding my hand, I would have quit the test and given up right then. Dusty's had his fair share of unpleasant experiences through this as well...nothing like trying to get me pregnant by taking a brown paper bag to the doctor's office with his part of the process inside. Then, during this IUI cycle, Dusty gave me my trigger shot. I can't thank God enough for that man!
And last, but maybe most important, is, although I may forget it quite a bit of the time, I've learned that I'm stronger than I ever thought I would be. This process has been so difficult, and I know I haven't had it near as bad as other women have, but it has still be hard, and depressing. Somehow, I'm still here, and trying to stay positive. I'm working to build my inner strength to keep going, whatever the next step might be.
Speaking of inner strength, I've been wanted to post this for a while, and felt like this was the perfect post to include this. For Christmas, my sweet sisters-in-law gave me a charm for my Pandora bracelet that represents inner strength. Because of the stupid winter weather, Dusty and I didn't get to go to Iowa for Christmas, so we mailed presents up and they mailed presents down. When I opened the card and the charm, I instantly started crying. It was such a sweet and touching gift from them and I absolutely love it. I've posted a picture of it below. I decided to put it between the two spacers that Dusty gave me when he first gave me the bracelet, and those two charms are the birthstones for my mom & dad. I like the thought of the inner strength being right between my parents' charms, as I feel like they are really the reason I am who I am today.
I'm behind on reading blogs! I'm glad you liked the bead!
ReplyDeleteI loved it! Thanks so much. It means so much to me! <3
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