Constant Reminders

Scrolling through my facebook feed, all the beautiful, smiling families

Livingsocial email for a family portrait session

Faith and family night at the ball park

Mother’s Day

Father’s Day

Instagram filled with babies, ultrasound pictures and bellies

Birth announcements, pregnancy announcements, and even graduation announcements

Baby shower invitations

“Baby on Board” window sign

A father and son playing catch in their front yard

A family getting dressed up for Sunday morning church

First and last day of school pictures

A pregnant woman in line at the grocery store, dinner, mall, everywhere

A beautiful family walking with their dogs and pushing their stroller

Niece’s and nephew’s birthdays

A facebook post about beautiful son or daughter

A friend’s newborn baby, or pregnant belly, or toddler



A child’s laugh…a child’s cry…a child…

Every single thing and more feel like a punch in the gut every time I see or hear any of them.  The pain inside me grows every single day.  I beg God to give Dusty and I children here to raise.  Every single day, I feel further and further from that ever happening.  If it doesn't, I don't want to be here.  It hurts too much.  Every day life just hurts too much.