Rough Week...

Last week was a pretty rough week.  I know I really don't have much to complain about, so I should just shut up, but I want to be honest with my feelings  and emotions on here, and to tell the truth, last week was difficult.

I started the increased dose of clomid on Saturday, the 17th.  Through Tuesday, there were no major changes from my previous symptoms, just headaches.  However; beginning Tuesday evening, I started having pretty intense constant pain in my middle back.  I don't know if this was a kidney infection, or what, but it really hurt.  I also experienced my first of several hot flashes with this cycle.  Wow!  Those suck.  I woke up in the middle of the night, Tuesday night, and was just drenched in sweat and incredibly hot.  It was 71 degrees in our house; I shouldn't have been that hot.  That was when I figured out I was having a hot flash.  Then I had another one on Wednesday while at work.  It was lovely.  Also, my back pain seemed to get much worse on Wednesday and Thursday.  It even woke me up those nights with pain so intense, it took me over an hour each night to get back to sleep.  I thought about using a heat pad to help the pain, but with the hot flashes, I was hot enough to begin with!  I didn't want to add any heat! 

Beginning late Thursday, I started having a constant dull ache around my ovaries.  I am sure this is from my ovaries becoming very stimulated with the increased dose of clomid, and I was expecting this pain, but it still hurt.  By Friday, I felt like my insides were completely beat up.  I went home from work early on Friday just to go home and rest. 

Oh!  Not to mention the estrogen supplement.  That started Thursday night.  Let me tell you, it's quite a lovely experience to take a little green pill and push it up someplace where you never, ever consider putting a pill (or at least I wouldn't).  There is something that almost feels degrading to have to do that.  I know that sounds stupid, but that's how I felt.  Maybe this is just my hormones going crazy that make me feel this way, but by Saturday evening, I had a break down.  As I was laying in bed, putting the pill where the pill is prescribed to go, with Dusty standing on the other side of the bed watching me, I had a break down and just started bawling.  I cried and cried about how it isn't fair that in order for me to hope to get pregnant, I have to shove pills up my you-know-what. 

Well, I realize that is nothing compared to what couples go through, so I really just need to suck it up, and I'm trying.  I really am.  I just wanted to jot down and share what I'm feeling leading up to my first ultrasound of this cycle, which is in about 30 minutes.  Wish me luck!