March 2020

Last I left off, it was March 2020.  It goes without saying that March 2020 will be a year that stands out in the memory of everyone, for many many years to come.  Like I said before, we were cruising along and life was good.  We were in a rhythm.  Kanon and Remi were getting so independent and were getting so big!  We did so many fun things with them in 2019, and life was good! 

Then, this awful thing known as the coronavirus made its way to the US…and with it, life will never be the same.  On Friday, March 13^th, Dusty’s company announced it wanted all office workers to work from home for the foreseeable future.  My firm followed suit the following Monday.  We thought it was just a temporary thing, and we’d be working from home for a few weeks, and then return to the office. 

Dusty set up in the play room/office that we had converted our 4^th bedroom to in August of 2019, and I set up at the dining room table. Given the virus and the fact that Dusty’s grandfather lives with Dusty’s aunt who takes care of the twins, we felt it was best if we kept the twins home with us rather than sending them to Dusty’s aunt’s house.  We also decided it was best that my mom stay home.  We wanted to take all precautions as we were and still continue to be, so concerned about the health of our family members.

A couple of weeks into the quarantine, I was late.  I went into where Dusty was working in the office, and told him I was late, and I should probably take a pregnancy test.  Dusty thought I was crazy, and said quote – “you aren’t pregnant”.  I was hinting to him that I needed him to go to the store to get a test, because given the virus, only one of us was getting out of the house, which was Dusty.  He clearly had no interest in going to the store with that response, so I left the office and promptly went to our room, where I dug around in my drawers and found one old test, which happened to still be in date.  I took the test and saw the blue plus, and walked that test right back into Dusty and asked him if was so sure.  Dusty started smiling and I’m not sure stopped for the next two days!!  He was absolutely thrilled.

Me…not so much.  I was terrified.  In my mind, all I could think about was the risk related to kell.  While Dusty was at the consult appointment in 2018 where we learned about the risks of kell (more on that later), he hadn’t been in the facebook groups for the past near 2 years reading all the good stories…but also all of the bad stories where babies don’t get to go home, where mommas endure so many medical procedures, all of that, and so it wasn’t as scary to him.

While we weren’t preventing pregnancy, we also did not think we would actually get pregnant given our history.  We also knew that if we did happen to get pregnant, we knew what it would entail and were ok with it.  Or at least I thought I was, until it actually happened, and then I realized just how terrified I was. 

To be continued…