Thursday, September 24, 2015

What's Next, Part 2

I am so sorry it's been so long since I've posted.  I promise I will get caught up very soon and will be posting much more frequently!  

Anyway, where I left off.  I failed to mention in my last post that Dr. M said he thought the chance of twins again was "only" about 15%.  In the grand scheme of things, 15% isn't much.  To me, it's huge.  That worried me.  Then, I thought, but this is coming from somebody who can't explain why their clinic's FET success rate is only 26%, so...what does it really mean.  Honestly, I would have thought it was a little high, but I'm clearly not an expert.

Dusty and I proceeded to schedule a consult appointment with Dr. H, given we didn't want to wait until early July to talk to Dr. P.  I had assumed my next cycle would start in late June/early July, and we'd need to have a decision made by that point.  

We met with Dr. H and it was really nice to talk through things with him.  We ended up talking to him for 30 minutes.  We told him that ultimately, it was our decision, but we wanted his opinion.  Dusty flat out asked him what he would do if it was he were us.  We discussed various things about Chandler and Paisley's pregnancy and delivery, we talked about the clinic's FET success rate, we talked about the other nearby clinic and it's success rate, and several other issues.  At the end of the appointment, after much consideration, Dr. H said that if he were us, he would probably move forward with transferring our two frozen embryos.  

I'm not saying that solidified the decision for us at all, because it was still our decision, but it did help.  We at least had the opinions of two medical professionals.  

So, Dusty and I continued to think about it for several more days.  We were very torn and just really didn't know what to do.  On one hand, do we run the risk of twins again, even with the clinic's very poor FET success rate?  On the other, do we shell out $10,000+ out of pocket to start all over, when we have two perfectly good embryos sitting on ice waiting on us.  Of course, no matter what, we'd go back for those babies.  

My body decided to give us plenty of time to get comfortable with what ultimately was our decision.  Thinking my cycle would start sometime in late June or early July, it decided to take it's sweet time.  Finally, around cycle day 55, I was prescribed provera.  My cycle finally started on July 30th.  We were off to our next round.  

I'll be posting to catch everybody up on what we decided and update everyone on that round very soon.  

Tuesday, September 1, 2015

So What's Next?

After our FET failed, Dusty and I were at an absolute loss for what the next step would be.  We had hoped and prayed so hard for that FET to work to keep us from having to make this decision at this point.  See, what has us torn right now is we have two remaining embryos, great, right?  Well, they are frozen together.  Not so great. 

We had a phone consult with the RE, commonly known in the infertile world as the “WTF Appointment”, which stands for, well, you guessed it.  I saw a more “family friendly” definition the other day that said it stood for “why the fail”.  Sure, let’s go with that. 
What did we learn in that appointment?  Not much, that’s for sure! 

Our RE basically said, we were almost there, and the embryo implanted, but didn’t continue to grow, and they just don’t know why.  Not much of an answer.  I’m not sure I expected one.  I’ve learned that infertility is full of “We don’t knows”.  Why am I infertile?  We don’t know.  Why didn’t think work?  We don’t know.  Why did the embryo implant, but not grow?  We don’t know.  Why is your clinic’s frozen success rate so low?  We don’t know.

That last one really gets me.  I hesitated to ask our RE that, but you know what, those rates are published, and that is just something they need to learn to answer.  When looking at my clinic’s frozen embryo success rate for my category (under 35, non-donor eggs), it is a miniscule 26.8%.  That’s awful!  That’s barely above 1 in 4!  When I compared that to another clinic nearby, but in a different state, their success rate for FETs is 55.6%!  That’s double my clinic’s success rate!  I specifically asked my doctor about it and he had no answer at all.  He did say that 2 years ago, my clinic’s success rate was close to that of their fresh cycles (47.8% for pregnancies, 42.6% for live births).  Well, rates from two years ago don’t help me now.  My RE said they are constantly trying to improve their results and it is something they watch.  Again, doesn’t help me much now. 

So, we ended our phone call with the decision that I would return to their clinic (2 hours and 45 minutes away) for another saline ultrasound.  Yay, third in the current year (catch the sarcasm there?).  That was an experience.  They should have paid me for that!  The doctor let a resident do it, and she lost part of the catheter in me, yes, lost, in me.  Words that should never go together, ever!  But, we did get good news, as my uterus looked fine.  And all for the bargain price of $350.  *sigh*
When we returned to the fertility clinic June 5 for the saline ultrasound, we asked the RE what he would suggest given our history, and whether or not he thought we should move forward with transferring our two remaining embryos, or start all over with a fresh cycle and only do SETs (single embryo transfers).  Dr. M said he saw no reason for us to not do a frozen and transfer both.  We did ask about “refreezing” one, but he said that once they had been “thawed”, the chances of the embryo surving another freeze and thaw was very low. 

To be honest, we didn’t feel very good about that when we left there.  I think we were both thinking we’d move forward with a fresh cycle at that point.  We were honestly sick to our stomachs weighing our options, and felt the clock ticking.  Assuming I had a normal cycle, we’d have about three weeks to figure out what we wanted to do.  Not much time. 
We wanted another opinion, so we called my local clinic to book a consult with Dr. P.  Well, her and her husband, Dr. H, were going out of town for vacation towards the end of June, and so my appointment with her was not going to be until the first week of July.  If my cycle would have been a normal cycle that month, that would have been too late, or very close to being too late.  But, not knowing what else to do, I went ahead and booked that appointment. 

I let a couple of days go by, and decided I would call back to see if she’d had any earlier cancelations.  She hadn’t.  I decided to see if there was any way I could get in with Dr. H any earlier.  They squeezed us in for a consult appointment on June 9th.  Thank goodness!!
So, I’ll continue from there in another post, given this post is pretty long as it is!!