Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Amazing Aruba

As I mentioned in an earlier post, Dusty and I recently celebrated our 10 year anniversary.  We were blessed enough to be able to spend our 10 year anniversary on gorgeous Palm beach in Aruba.  This beach was absolutely amazing (hence the title of this post, haha)!!  Dusty and I have been fortunate enough to go on some wonderful vacations in some gorgeous places around the Caribbean, and I must say, I think we enjoyed this one more than the others (which is saying a lot)!  We book all of our vacations through our wonderful friend and fabulous travel agent, Sarah with Beach Bum Vacations, and she definitely recommended the perfect place for us to celebrate our 10 year anniversary!!  Along with recommending such a wonderful place, she also sent us a wonderful bottle of chardonnay during our vacation!  {Thank you so much, Sarah!!} 

This picture doesn't do it justice, but the beach was gorgeous!  

Although we spent most of the time laying on the beach doing absolutely nothing but swimming and soaking up the sun, we did try some delicious restaurants around the island.  Here is a picture of us enjoying dinner at La Trattoria el Faro Blanco, which sits next to the California Lighthouse. 
Below are some more pictures from our vacation.

We have definitely come a long way in 10 years.  I wanted to find a couple of pictures from our honeymoon to show just how far we've come, and well, I realized that our honeymoon pictures are somewhere in this house, printed out!  I didn't even have a digital camera when we got married, wow!  So, instead, I found our honeymoon scrapbook, and took a couple of pictures of that!  I could have scanned in just the pictures, but I think showing the scrapbook pages is funny!! 


From Branson to Aruba in 10 years.  :)

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

The Royal Baby

Does anyone else wish we had a royal family here in the states?  I don't know why, but I feel slightly obsessed with the royal family.  I just love William and Kate, and of course, the new baby.  I guess part of it is that they are pretty much the same age as Dusty and me, and new parents, as I had planned Dusty and I would be right about now. 

Unless you live under a rock, or have an amazing ability to completely disconnect from the world, you know that William and Kate had their baby yesterday, and the world got a peak at the prince today.  I just finished watching a 3 minute video on people.com of William and Kate introducing their baby to the world. 

Watching the video is bittersweet for me, especially seeing how proud William is holding his son.  I can't wait to see Dusty cradling our baby in his arms {can you imagine how tiny our baby will look in Dusty's arms??}.  If things had gone as planned, I fully expected Dusty and I to have a baby now, too, but we all know that hasn't worked out like I thought it would.  So, seeing a new baby is tough for us at times.  We've had a few friends & family recently have babies, and please don't take me wrong, we are incredibly excited for you all {shout out to Suzy and David that had their baby on Friday, yay!!}, it just pains us too.  However; I have to have faith that Dusty and I will have children of our own some day as well.  I can't wait for that day...

Friday, July 19, 2013

10 Year Anniversary

This post is a week late, but I still wanted to post it.  Last Friday, July 12th, Dusty and I celebrated our 10 year anniversary.  It is really hard to believe that 10 years ago, we were newly weds!
I thank God so much for bringing Dusty and me together.  He truly is my rock.  Dusty and I have been through so much in our 10 years of marriage, and he has been there for me through everything.  Before we were married (many, many years ago, haha), I didn't think I would ever find a guy that I would actually consider my best friend, but Dusty really is that.  I can't imagine having gone through the struggles faced over the last few years without Dusty by my side.  Thank you baby! 
Here are a few more pictures from our wedding.  :)
I love you, Dusty!

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Up to Speed

My last post left off with my normal MRI.  That was great news, of course!  I couldn't have all of the fun with having tests, so Dusty got in on the fun at this point.  Dusty got the dreaded cup and brown paper bag.  His test came back ok...not as good as it could have been, but not terrible, either.

After the HSG, MRI, blood work & Dusty's results, my doctor recommended clomid with IUI.  Well, IUI is around $700 each time, and not having insurance coverage for infertility, we decided to try the clomid alone a couple of cycles (which still ends up being around $300 each cycle).

May was the first month I took clomid.  I had three ultrasounds in this cycle to check my follicles.  The first u/s was early and didn't show any.  The 2nd & 3rd u/s showed one follicle on my left side.  This was discouraging as this is the side that the HSG showed as blocked.  During the June cycle, my 2nd u/s showed that the follicle developing on the right side decreased in size after my first u/s, which isn't what we want.

After that u/s, my doctor recommended increasing my clomid from 50mg to 100mg and also recommended taking estrogen with the clomid (as the increased clomid can cause other side effects that have a negative impact on trying to get pregnant, which the estrogen offsets).  As it turns out, Dusty got a somewhat unexpected bonus at work, and because of that, we decided to try IUI with my next cycle on clomid.  Because we are actually out of the country right now celebrating our 10th anniversary, we decided to take this month off and try again next month.

So, that catches you up on what we have been going through since April.  Hopefully our luck will change soon!

Saturday, July 6, 2013

Test, tests, and more tests...

To pick up where I left my 2nd post, I'll fill you in on more of my TTC story. 

Once I visited with my doctor in April, she wanted to do blood work to make sure I was ovulating.  I did that, and everything tested normal.  After that, Dr. P ordered an HSG test (hysterosalpingogram).  The purpose of this test was to examine my fallopian tubes and uterus to check to see if my tubes were blocked.  The test was ordered for a Friday afternoon and Dusty and I took off the afternoon of my test, as I was told it would take a couple of hours and I wasn't sure I would feel like going back to work after the test. 

Dusty and I arrived at the hospital and I went into the lab to have blood drawn for a pregnancy test.  After that, we went into the room to wait for the test to begin.  We had a wonderful nurse who showed us everything that would be used during the test and explained step-by-step how the test would go.  She then had me change while waiting for the results of the pregnancy test and waiting for the radiologist.  This nurse was wonderful!  I was so scared and nervous, not to mentioned a little freaked out because a radiologist would be the one doing the test, (which involved blowing up a "balloon" inside me, and then shooting dye into my uterus).  I guess I just thought it would be an OBGYN doing this test and the thought of a different kind of doctor doing anything there, well, that just wasn't what I had in mind.  However; after talking to the nurse, I was actually starting to calm down a little.  Well, Dusty and I waited and waited.  After nearly 2 hours, the doctor finally came in and gave us quite the surprise.  The doctor told us that my pregnancy test was positive, barely, but still, positive. 

As you can guess, we were quite surprised, but we both had this feeling that it wouldn't last and wasn't even real.  On a side note, because my insurance doesn't have infertility coverage, we had already paid for the test when we arrived, and as such, we had to go get a refund, since I didn't actually have the test.  As we were getting a refund, several of the clerks congratulated us, which really just made us feel awful because we both thought it wouldn't last.  And it didn't...

The next day, I took two at home pregnancy tests, and both said positive.  Still, we both had a feeling that it wasn't real.  I bled the entire day and the next morning, took another test, and it was negative.  {I can't help but think that those earlier tests will be the only positive pregnancy tests I will ever have}

On Monday, I went back to the doctor for another pregnancy test, which of course, was negative.  The nurse didn't really have an explanation for what happened.  She said it was possibly "just a chemical pregnancy."  Whatever it was, it still hurt. 

We then rescheduled my HSG test for a couple of weeks later, which turned into another two weeks of being nervous and getting anxious about it.  One funny thing did happen in between the scheduled dates of my test though.  On the weekend before my 2nd scheduled test, Dusty and I went to Little Rock to watch my niece and her dance team compete.  While sitting at the hotel bar between dances, my husband found himself sitting next to the doctor that had informed us our pregnancy test was positive.  I'm not sure if he recognized Dusty or not, but I was dreading having the test done in a few days and the doctor recognizing Dusty during the test!  There is just something uncomfortable about that!

As it turns out, I didn't have to worry about that.  When we went back for the test a couple of days later, we had a different nurse and a different doctor, and it was not good.  The nurse acted very nervous and explained things completely different than the first nurse had.  She was so nervous, she made me even more anxious.  Then, the doctor came and, and I'm sorry, but he looked like a total creeper.  I would have given anything in that moment for it to be the doctor that sat at the bar with my husband over this guy!  He came in and asked me what was going on.  Seriously?  There are only a couple of reasons a woman would have that test, does he really need to ask? 

We got started on the test and it was AWFUL.  The doctor was incredibly rough with me and I had never experienced such pain in my entire life!  I started crying the minute the test started and didn't stop until long after it was over.  It hurt so bad.  Thank goodness Dusty was standing there holding my hand the entire time or else I never would have made it through the test. 

Then, in addition to the pain, I could tell something with the test wasn't going well.  They had me roll to my side to try to see if dye would go through my left tube and it wouldn't.  We finished the test and I found out my left tube appears to be blocked.  Not only that, but then the doctor says to me that I have the smallest uterus he has ever seen.  I have no idea what this even means, but my first thought was there must be no way at all that I can have children. 

Thank goodness my doctor called me later that day and went over the test results.  She wasn't sure what the results of the test really meant either, and wanted more information.  Dr. P then ordered an MRI to get a better look at my uterus and to try to see if there was a problem.  I had the MRI about a week later, and the results came back normal, thankfully. 

So...next, more tests.  But, this post is long enough for now, so I'll wait to write more about that later.

Friday, July 5, 2013

Summer Sidebar Story

I have to take a post to brag about my niece, Summer.  This little girl is absolutely amazing and so beautiful.  Summer is a dancer.  She started dancing when she was 2 years old.  Little did we know what she would progress to 7 years later, although I guess we should have had an idea, since her first word was dance (no lie)!

Summer recently competed in the Talent on Parade National Championships where she took the overall grand champion for the 9-12 age division!  This little girl has worked so incredibly hard at dance over the last year and has progressed so incredibly quickly.  Summer spends 6 days a week at her dance center, and even when she gets home, she typically starts dancing even more!  Summer just blows me away with her dedication, humbleness, kindness, compassion and talent! 

Here are some pictures from the recent championship, in which she performed a lyrical to "Papa, Can You Hear Me?".

She just started working on this move a few months ago!

 I love the emotion on her face below

I can't get over her excited face

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

What's My Story?

I find myself writing this blog as an outlet about the struggle DH and I have gone through to have children, along with various other things going on in our lives right now.  I'll be posting several blog posts that catch you up on what we have been through at this point.  I've always hesitated to start a blog that is primarily about trying to conceive (TTC), as I always thought to myself, as soon as I do, I'll get pregnant and then that will just be discouraging to any readers that are TTC.  Well, it's been nearly a year of trying, and we aren't pregnant yet, so I might as well start this blog.
 First off, I'll give you some more background.  As I mentioned in my previous post, I am 30, moving up quite steadily in my career, DH and I bought a house recently, and everything is moving along exactly as I always envisioned in most aspects of our lives.  So, we decided, we're ready, let's have our first baby.  I even thought about the timing and when we could get pregnant so I would be due outside of my peak busy season at work (January through April 15th).  I know that shouldn't matter, but to me, it does, or did, at that point a year ago.  You see, as a CPA, I am a slight control freak.  So, even though I always had this horrible fear that I would have problems getting pregnant, I thought that I could control the situation and make it work whenever I told my body it was time to have a baby.  Hahaha, funny plan.

After 8 months of trying with no luck, I decided to see my doctor.  In April, I went to visit my OBGYN, Dr. P.  I told her that DH and I had been trying to get pregnant since August with no luck (obviously).  She asked me all the relevant questions; when did I stop birth control (March 2012), were my periods regular (yes), was I tracking them (yes), had I checked my ovulation with one of those over the counter kits (yes, the first month, it said I ovulated), were we trying every other day around the 14th day of my cycle (yes).  I even told her I bought a fertility kit for myself and a sperm test kit for DH, both came back with good results (my doctor didn't even know the OTC sperm test kit existed!!).  Which brought me to April and sitting there on the table, telling my doctor all of these things.

Thank goodness my doctor is awesome.  I was afraid she would be like, ok, well, keep trying and if nothing happens by August, call me back.  Did she?  Nope!  Dr. P immediately started talking about the various tests that could be ran and what those tests would check for.  We hashed out a game plan, and started scheduling tests and calling insurance.  I'll blog more about the tests I went through in another post or two (look at me, planning ahead for another post and everything).  So, here we are, two and half months later, nearly $3,500 poorer, and still trying to get pregnant. 

Stay tuned for more of my story!

Monday, July 1, 2013

The Blog Bandwagon

Everyone's doing it, right?  It seems like everyone I know has a blog.  I'm a little behind on jumping on the blog bandwagon, but I tend to wait things out a while to see if I really want to do something or not before I dive in.  Just to prove my previous point, I didn’t even read Harry Potter until the summer the very last movie came out (see, I told you I wait things out). 

So…do I want to blog or not?  Here are the things that go through my head when thinking about that.

1.      Why should I blog now?  I’m boring, I’m an accountant, it doesn’t get much more boring than that
2.      Who would read my blog?
3.      I’ll wait until I have kids to blog, then it will be a great place for my family and friends to come read up on our lives
4.      Several friends have fantastic blogs, I don’t want to feel like I am trying to copy them, or trying to keep up with them
5.      And lastly, what in the world would I even blog about

Well, before I get into answering those questions, I’ll tell you a little more about myself.  I am a southern girl, although some would argue that.  I grew up in southern Missouri, and by southern, I mean, I could literally stand at one point in my home town and throw a rock and hit Oklahoma and Arkansas.  So, that being said, I claim to be a southern girl.  I am 30 years old (when did that happen???).  As I mentioned above, I’m an accountant, CPA to be precise (which I tend to do, being a CPA…).  I love everything Arkansas Razorback (WPS).  I have a fantastic family who I care so very much about, and the most wonderful husband anyone could ask for.  My husband and I have been together for nearly 12 ½ years!  We met my first year of college and have been inseparable since.

Now to answer the questions above…

1.  Why should I blog now.  Well, as I will go into more in later posts, my husband and I are trying to have children.  It isn’t working so well.  In updating his sisters about the recent tests and various other things, one suggested I blog about it.  I had been thinking about it anyway, and so I guess that was the little push that made me jump in and start this blog (and actually publish it). 

2.  Who would read it?  I don’t know.  But if it helps somebody else at some point, then that is good enough for me.

3.  See number 1…it’s not happening very timely

4.  Friends – know now I’m not going to be as good as you.  J

5.   Probably mostly TTC for now, and whatever else is going on in our lives at the time, and I pray to God that someday, I will blog about our beautiful children.

So…here goes.  Post number one is in the books!