And our babies turned 1.
I'm not sure how it happened.
I'm not sure where months 2-11 went.
I remember the NICU days. Those long, long days.
I remember firsts...smiles, giggles, crawling, food, teeth...
But I still am at a loss as to where this past year went.
I don't know how it happened. I tried my best to take in every single minute, every second, all of every single day. I truly did. I tried to stop, and take deep breaths, and know I would never get that moment back. And I still feel like I failed. I still feel like I missed so much, have forgotten so much, will never get back so much.
My babies are growing. They are getting so big, and my heart is beating with excitement and pulsing with love, all while breaking at the same time, begging time to slow down, to let Dusty and I have this time longer, to let us breath in the moments deeper, to help us experience this time better.
It's a losing battle. The days go faster and faster. My babies are growing, learning, exploring, becoming toddlers at such a rapid pace that I can't keep up.
I long for time to stand still, just for a bit. Let me catch my breath. Let me hold onto my babies before they are out of my reach.