Mid-Life Blah?

I haven’t blogged for a while.

The truth is, I don’t feel like I have much to say these days.

I’m struggling to get by day to day.  Being a full-time mommy and a full-time working mommy is HARD! 

I think I’m in a rut.  Things are the same, every.single.day. 

I LOVE, more than anything, going home to Kanon and Remi and getting my 1 hour with them.  One…

I see them in the morning when I wake them up to change their diapers and hit the road.  And then by the time I get home in the evening, Dusty and I have one hour to play with them, feed them dinner, bathe them and get them to bed, before eating dinner, watching a little tv and going to bed ourselves, just to get up and do it all over again.

Being a working parent is freaking hard!  I knew it would be, but I didn’t realize just how hard it would be. 

My job is demanding and requires more of me then I think I’m even willing to give at the moment and I’m just lost with what to do.  I used to really enjoy my job.  Now…I’m not sure.  I think I still do and I think I’m just in a rut.

I don’t know why I’m in a rut, though.  I mean, life is pretty good.  We have Kanon and Remi and we are so happy with them. 

We have plans to move forward with a couple of things in our personal life (no, not more IVF), which I will post about soon, so I should be excited about that.  I am, somewhat excited, but I should be more excited, I guess. 

I don’t know, I guess it all just feels blah right now.  Is that what mid-life is?  Blah?  It shouldn’t be, should it?  I hate even saying that because Kanon and Remi make it so much fun and fill our lives with so much joy.  But outside of my one hour a day with them…

Anyway, this is just random babble.  I’ll stop now and try to post something more meaningful soon!