February 23, 2015

Thirty-four weeks ago, for the first time, Dusty and I heard our sweet babies' heartbeats.  Chandler boy's measured 117 and Paisley girl's measured 121.  It was the beginning of our dream come true.  We fell in love with those two, itty-bitty babies.  At that moment, we knew our lives would never be the same.  

Here we are.  My due date.  I knew we'd never reach this date pregnant.  I just always thought I'd be home with our sweet babies on this date.  

Initially, I didn't think this date would bother me, after all, I never expected them to actually be born this day.  But this day has hurt me more than I imagined.

After getting a stomach bug yesterday, I woke up this morning still not feeling very well, so I decided I would just stay home and rest, and try to get better before my surgery tomorrow (I'll do another post about this).  I laid in bed and just cried and cried.  I cried for me, I cried for Dusty, I cried for my mom, our family, our friends, and mostly, for Chandler & Paisley, and all our dreams for them.

And slowly, the texts started coming in.  So many amazing friends and family members who remembered and texted & posted to let me know they were praying for us today.  And you know what, I was eventually able to get out of bed and feel the strength of those prayers.  I couldn't have made it without the prayers.  Thank you all so much.

I managed to go out and get pink and blue balloons, and wrote a note to Chandler & Paisley, and once Dusty got home, we hugged each other and cried, and sent our balloons and our note to our babies.  

We miss them so much.  

Comments

  1. I am thinking of you guys and praying for strength and peace. It was such as sweet thing to do with the balloons, glad you were able to do something like that for them. I got a glimpse of your babies saying hello this morning here in Mexico, as always, such a beautiful reminder of them. They are the most loved little babies. Sending healing thoughts to you and Dusty, especially today as you have the surgery. -Jennifer

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