Chandler and Paisley's Christmas

Well, Christmas is passed.  We survived it, somehow, someway.  Barely, at times.  I know friends were praying for us, lifting us up.  We couldn't have made it without that.

Our first Christmas as parents...Chandler and Paisley's first Christmas...in Heaven.

This certainly isn't how we thought we'd be spending this Christmas.  As I said in my previous post, we thought this Christmas would be full of presents for the babies, and probably even be spent in the hospital. 

We weren't even planning to put up a Christmas tree this year, but after a little nudge from my good friend Sarah, along with two beautiful ornaments she got us with our babies' names on them, we decided to put up a Chandler & Paisley tree. We got a white tree, and pink and blue lights.  Our neighbor, whose friend ended up retouching our Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep pictures had the photographer make for us a beautiful silver ornament with their picture on it.  We slowly collected more ornaments for the babies, even baby's first Christmas ornaments, which were really hard to buy, but we did, because our babies are real, and this is their first Christmas, it is just in Heaven, not here. 


 


A few weeks ago, we received one of the most touching gifts.  We came home and had received a card and a package from the NICU.  The card was filled with the sweetest messages from the NICU nurses and doctor.  I stood in the kitchen and just cried and cried reading their sweet messages.  I couldn't believe it, how very sweet of the nurses and doctor to take time to send that to us.  And then, we opened the package.  When we opened it, I couldn't believe it.  There were the sweetest, most beautiful shoes, pink and blue, for Chandler and Paisley.  Then I turned them over and absolutely lost it.  On the back, somebody had written their names, date of birth, length and weight, and the best part, their nicknames!  They even got their nicknames right, with Chandler being Bitty and Paisley being Itty.  How in the world the NICU remembered, or even knew, I have no idea.  We will cherish these ornaments forever.  They are absolutely beautiful, and the most touching gift.  Words are completely inadequate to describe how touched we are by that gift. 



 
Our Christmas Day, Dusty and I were home by ourselves.  We finished tying ribbons on teddy bears for Holy Sews (I'll post more about this later).  Then, we baked cookies to take to the NICU nurses and doctors.  I thought I may have a breakdown going into the NICU unit, but managed to hold it together.  It did bring back such a horrible flood of memories.  Pushing the button to call in to ask for the doors to be unlocked, where we typically answered that we were there to visit Chandler and Paisley, then saying we were there to visit Chandler, oh how that hurt when we had to answer like that.  I remember I even started to say "and Paisley" after saying Chandler's name. 
 
Somehow, I didn't panic, I made it.  And I'm so glad we did that.  I think Dusty and I have found a new Christmas tradition.  In some way, it helped bring us comfort.       


Comments

  1. I love the tree, so cute. That is so touching for the NICU staff to do that. How awesome you started a new tradition. Having a mom and a MIL that were both nurses, I know from experience they appreciate your kind gesture.

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