One Year Ago
One year ago today, Dusty and I got up, and made the drive to Little Rock, knowing we were transferring the last two embryos that we had. We were filled with hope, but scared at the same time.
I shared on my Facebook account today, that one year ago today was the first time I had really handed something over to God. As you, my readers, know, Kanon & Remi were frozen together, and we had to transfer both. There was no other option to us. If we attempted to refreeze one, we were told it likely wouldn't survive thaw again. That was equal to a death sentence to us, so that wasn't an option. And we absolutely could not discard one, so again, not an option.
We prayed for God's will to be done, and for the first time, meant it, 100%. I remember just being baffled and thinking, I have no idea what to pray for. How can I be so selfish and pray for both to stick when that very well could end the same way Chandler and Paisley's pregnancy ended, but on the other hand, how do I pray for only one to make it, when that is essentially praying one doesn't make it, and that felt wrong as well. I remember just praying, God...you know. Please let your plan unfold here.
And I am so thankful for His plan. I am so thankful we were given Kanon and Remi to be siblings to Chandler and Paisley. They have been such a blessing.
Kanon & Remi's first picture
I shared on my Facebook account today, that one year ago today was the first time I had really handed something over to God. As you, my readers, know, Kanon & Remi were frozen together, and we had to transfer both. There was no other option to us. If we attempted to refreeze one, we were told it likely wouldn't survive thaw again. That was equal to a death sentence to us, so that wasn't an option. And we absolutely could not discard one, so again, not an option.
We prayed for God's will to be done, and for the first time, meant it, 100%. I remember just being baffled and thinking, I have no idea what to pray for. How can I be so selfish and pray for both to stick when that very well could end the same way Chandler and Paisley's pregnancy ended, but on the other hand, how do I pray for only one to make it, when that is essentially praying one doesn't make it, and that felt wrong as well. I remember just praying, God...you know. Please let your plan unfold here.
My gear
Boredom had set it...thus a picture of my foot
Dusty, all geared up
Me...not sure why the smart alec look on my face
Here we are, before being taken back to the OR
And I am so thankful for His plan. I am so thankful we were given Kanon and Remi to be siblings to Chandler and Paisley. They have been such a blessing.
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